I wish you would have said what to do instead in those circumstances. He was under my skin. It’s all a learning process. He has 8 dog beds and does not use them other then to sit down in them when he refuses to sit on the floor. But he moved, and my foot nipped his nose, and he dropped the ball, and I was in sheer shock that it happened, and I began telling him sorry, and he shut his eyes and submitted to me! Further still, I was usually the scapegoat between all the siblings; if my parents had “kick the dog” syndrome, I was the dog. And I know the patience and love has paid off. When she fell, he dropped his ears, lifted his tail, bared his teeth and bit her arm. He never kicked the ball again though. And I think when you physically correct your dog, it is easy to get out of hand when you are stressed and they misbehave in a way that triggers you. All of our dogs attended puppy classes and they returned to their trainer for brush up and it really helped us a lot. And definitely work with a positive based trainer. As Victoria Stilwell teaches, it breaks a dog’s spirit. Consider a friendly dog whose being walked on a prong collar. This was an excellent read to really open my eyes though. I was able to keep my cool because I didn't want to practice negative reinforcement training, which means using punishment to discourage “bad” behavior. It has become very bad. If you think he is having difficulty breathing, worsening symptoms, or is unable to walk I would take him to a veterinary ER. I have the power. All of my dogs know this and I love that I can provide them with this security. I adopted my dog. i get angry at my dog for being scared and get angrier when i try make her not scared and she gets more scared. I would be embarrassed to have to admit to family and friends that the best thing would be for my dogs to go to a different, more patient home, even though deep down I feel that to be true. Raising dogs is a learning process because we don’t speak “dog,” and you have shown that patience wins out every time. There’s no one to turn to. This is my dog of nearly 4 years, a dog that would come to meet me … Or maybe it's a book, or a computer, depending on the dog. I learned it was MY RESPONSIBILITY to change this – my fence is now reinforced every few inches with rebar weaved through the fence and pounded into the ground. Went to the bathroom and when I came out he on the counter eating. Your dog might perceive something that he has learned to associate negatively, like a strange dog or the smell of another dog’s fear. You need to show her that you are genuinely sorry for ignoring her. I feel that we are kindred spirits. I kept a normal tone the entire time, because I didn’t want to make it worse – that was one of the hardest thing I had to do, because everything in me was screaming to behave differently. Therapy helped me understand my trigger so that I could move past them. Please take your dog to the vet for a check up, seek help from a professional dog trainer, or find your dog a safe home. I go for long walks on my own when I’m having a rough day. He’s just not mature enough for me. For now I shall type this as penance and continue to feel bad for my hasty reaction. You feel like he hates you for just breathing around him, and well, there’s the possibility that he … Reviewed for accuracy on August 26, 2019, by Dr. Katie Grzyb, DVM “My dog ate weed—now what?” You’re not alone in asking this question. I found him on the street and now he has been with me. It’s never too late. Hi Yasmin – has your dog been to any puppy or adolescent training classes? And, no, that's NOT your dog's guilty face. The smell of my vagina would make him go crazy. I want a loving, healthy relationship with her. It was intoxicating to feel like a pinch of salt dissolved in his black, turbulent seas. I wish my … We have to learn a new way. Because they can’t talk to us, we don’t know if what we think of minor physical correction is actually very hurtful to them. Even bought a … read more. It allows for reasoning. I used a loud voice so I could my point across. Thank you, Jen – I learn something new about dogs daily and because of what I learn I have so much more respect for the relationship I have with them. She’s been timid with me for the past 24 hours and I just want to know if you think that it’s possible for us to work through this, considering she is very young and I’m learning how to properly deal with her puppyness really. Whether the hurtful words they're hurling at you are right or wrong (and it’s safe to assume that at the least they’re exaggerated), raging people desperately need to be heard. I started going to therapy a few years ago and really delved into it after we lost one of our dogs to a car accident. Make sure to use a kind tone of voice to let the dog know it didn't do anything wrong. The dogs were allowed rawhide chews back then because they needed something to curb their chewing drive and I couldn’t find anything else that was affordable that lasted longer than 10 minutes. Hitting our dogs doesn't deliver the message we want to deliver, but don't take my word for it…, [Tweet “A dog who is afraid to move is incredibly sad. Or being caught. Unfortunately, I’m not a dog trainer, but a great trainer to follow who may have an answer is Fernando Camacho; check out his Facebook group. [Tweet “Defensive learning leads to dogs lashing out and causing harm. I caught her chewing some electrical cords plugged into the wall, so I scolded her. An example: Removing a stimulus that the dog dislikes, like the mailman. I want my Lilo back. When we met he had a dog and I assumed he loved dogs as much as me but he didn’t, the dog … My dog will come back if he is close and there are no distractions. Articles may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written consent of Kimberly Gauthier [that’s me!]. If you’re not in a place where you can give love, then help your dog to find a home where she can get the love she deserves. He hit the hardwood floor in my kitchen very hard and was paralyzed for 20 minutes. I once swatted Faolan’s nose out of frustration, and felt broken inside afterwards. One of the first days she peed almost 40 times in the house. Source(s): I've hurt my dog accidentally many times, and by doing the above, he loves me again :) 2 0. She forgave me very quickly, but it took a lot longer for me to forgive myself. Each time, a firm “No!” immediately defused the situation and reminded all of the dogs that I’m their leader. The narcissist offers your pet a treat and then takes it back. I am not a veterinarian, canine/animal nutritionist, or dog trainer. My recommendation is to seek therapy. That night, I slept with the dogs. I wanted Rodrigo and Sydney to know that they didn’t have to fear me. The fact that you feel bad means that you’re an amazing dog parent. I have never been so terrified as those minutes when I held her and tried to check her over while telling and showing her how sorry I was. Some people might get a result they are happy with, but even if the dog still adores them, the bond isn’t what it could be, because a if a person is willing to hurt the animal, they don’t love the animal to the level that is necessary for a true bond. He looked at me with a quizzical expression, but then he told me he'll help me out right there! If you’re punching, kicking, and throwing your dog – then it’s time for you to take a break and work on your anger issues. Looking out the window I saw him running toward the street to the mailbox where the postmans car was pulling up. He can see the cyclists; he can get excited and bark, but he doesn't lunge, because of the 50′ (or more) distance). This makes sense when you consider how dogs learn. I try not to judge people who use aversive training methods, but I can’t help but wonder if they want their dogs to behave out of fear or love? When I follow him down stairs, and get on my knees he does come to me and rubs up against me, and I can pet his belly and he rubs against me, but upstairs he runs away scared to death. Alma Cooper May 25, 2018 at 8:55 am - Reply. Things that used to set me off are no longer on my radar. Instagram. The owner thinks problem solved – no more pulling. first: and this happens the least, if he’s in love with you, if he’s in a relationship with you and you hurt his feelings, he … This was a lesson he had to learn immediately because he might not get a second chance. I don’t want her to hate me or fear me. I think the biggest thing I have learned is that many of the behaviors that dogs exhibit which humans consider “bad” is just what dogs consider “normal” for them or what they need. As an Amazon Associate, the owner of this site earns a commission from qualifying purchases. When Rodrigo Lunges at Cyclists:  Rodrigo is a Border Collie / Blue Heeler mix; his herding instincts when it comes to cyclists are too strong for me to train away. All of this is completely deserved. He becomes reactive out of fear and anticipation of pain, whenever he sees another dog. He will move when he sees me coming or if I corner him and try to pet him, he puts his tail between his legs and cower. I'm f 14 and last week I was home alone and I have a large male German shepherd and I'm quite small for my age anyway I was getting out of the shower and he came into my room when I was getting clothes and he did something he never done he came up to me and started licking my va*ina I pushed him away but he came back and jumped up one me and knocked me to the floor I didn't hurt at … Why is it necessary to break a dog’s spirit. I accidentally hit my chihuahua in the face with my big toe. The biggest problem with compulsion/force techniques is the risk of unintended results. 2 days ago I walked to the barn to check on my husbands horse who was hurt and she followed me with one of my husbands working dog pups. In my home, I’m top dog. Particularly the root (survival and protection) chakra. what if she’s stressed and scared? I'm sorry doggo. If Rodrigo lunges at cyclists, and I hit him – he'll start developing anxiety, because cyclists now equal pain and anger (whenever we see a bicycle, he's going to be hurt). I hit her once (beyond a very gentle hey, listen to my voice poke on the shoulder or scooch slap on the rump). After this outcome repeats several times, the once friendly prong collar dog learns that other dogs cause pain. When I first started my journey in training my German Shepherd a few months ago I was told by a stranger that swatting the dog when it did wrong was correct. I treat my puppy like a fragile china teacup and like so many people humanise our dogs, saw this situation from a human perspective and wanted to punish the “bully”. Actually the definition of negative reinforcement is used incorrectly here. However Kirby at 5 years old has had one “spanking” and I have no regret. Ily” And i didnt do it HARD HARD so it will hurt, when i said i humped hard i meant humped with "passion". They took 3 but would not take the 4th one. 0 Recommendations. She recently started submissively peeing all the time. He still hasn’t grown up and become the man that I need. The first step, of course, is to stay calm. Well, I got a big awaking from my vet he told me hes your dog now … I LOVE THAT STORY! #donthityourdog #keepthetailwagging”]. Anyway, it slipped and I think it hit a nerve, he started freaking out and running all over the house. Eventually he did learn that was not desired behavior plus he has sort of mellowed as he has gotten older. Continuing with my story, the front desk employees at the vet’s office were now watching the situation, and the veterinarian had just walked out as I leaned forward to make sure my … The Warning. Once he matched my relaxed energy, it was clear to me that he trusted me. She won’t come when I call her now and when she finally does she pees. Copyright© 2011-2020 Kimberly Gauthier. I love her. The once friendly dog now lunges and barks which causes more pain. Thank you for your question. I have a 4 month female old cattle dog that I’ve been trying to train. It’s easy to reward that because that’s what I want. I don’t. This rewards the dog just as much as positive reinforcement does, which is giving a reward to the dog. So we all can make mistakes, but I don’t see any reason for repeatedly lashing out at a creature that loves you. He just doesn’t get it! That's your dog reacting to your tone, energy and body language. He is currently on heartworm treatment because he was positive on a heartworm test. Thank you for sharing it with me. Now, the second he … Rodrigo had a possessive streak back then and bit Sydney to get her rawhide, broke the skin of her ear. By showing him off, everyone could see that I had finally met my sexually liberated match. My husband felt he was pushed into having a dog and was always a tension about the cost of treatments and the impact on the family. I fee terrible and know this is unacceptable and makes me a bad dog owner. If he was in my fenced backyard and he either saw something or caught a scent of something on the OTHER side of the fence then under the fence he would go. Just like it can calm our dogs down; it helps us too. She jumped into the water and swam her heart out. Now let’s look at why men ignore women. I’m seeing now this is far from the truth aND has caused my dog to lose trust in me. However, I’m still nervous that she is now going to “hate” or “fear” me forever. DakotaSouthFive. (she had bonded with me right away) Now that she has warmed up to me, my husband, and my daughter, she is still very nervous around my 16 yr old son. He bit his tongue and was bleeding. My pup ended up on a tangle of branches/tree stumps in the middle of a very deep, cold, and swift running glacial stream when she was running on the beach and misjudged the strength of the stream. I love him so much, he is so charming and lovable… so light hearted. Check out the latest breaking news videos and viral videos covering showbiz, sport, fashion, technology, and more from the Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday. On top of that, my family had little regard for animals. But I feel like my patience has been so warn by this and the damage I have caused is irreparable. Is he hurt, physically he doesnt look it, but I dont know why he is hiding, and shaking now for 2 hours. My Grown Son Hates Me, What Do I Do? He is not biting you out of meanness. I am glad to see you sharing that hitting is totally wrong. However, the dog makes a different connection. He bit me to the bone on my index finger, but I wanted to go ahead and work with him because I didn’t want to have to take him out again. I came here just now because I swatted my older dogs nose when he took my puppies chew toy with a treat inside and scared him bad . How do I gain her trust back. I also have a relationship with Darwin’s Natural Pet Products as a customer; please note that Darwin’s Pet does not provide free food for my pets. Positive reinforcement not only keeps my dogs happy and healthy, it keeps me from feeling like a monster. Positive feedback and no feedback when she does bad, teaching her that praise is good and no praise means she shouldn’t do it again. What helped me was learning more about dog behavior. He often wouldn’t really eat but when I put the food in my hand he … Depending if your female or male, just strip down and call your dog over. He hates us I am upset, He was so happy here all day and now he hates us btw, I wont be handing the puppy to the kids any more, that was kinda dumb of me… 2. I came from an abusive background and in my community beating children was accepted (spare the rod, spoil the child). When Rodrigo Runs Off:  When Rodrigo runs off to explore the woods surrounding our home. Your email address will not be published. If your dog runs away and then comes back to you,how do you keep him from doing it again? He is trying to play. The current was so strong we would only have the second we were passing her. Rodrigo and Sydney have lashed out at the puppies many times. I thought he was joking, but then he unzipped my pants and slid his hand down. Negative reinforcement is actually rewarding just like positive reinforcement. Trusting that even at your worst, they will treat you as if your at your best. Dr. Michele K. DVM. My heart is breaking right now. According to a veterinary study in Colorado, incidences of marijuana intoxication in dogs increased dramatically following the drug’s legalization. Q: I never hit or swat or even yell at my dog. But I’m seriously so anxious and sad just as I know my loving dog is. They gave him some medicine, but I'm concerned it's not enough. There are always going to be times when our dogs drive me nuts with their behavior, but it’s so important that I remember that they’re doing what comes natural to them. i didnt use violence. I turns me on like crazy the contrast between the two men. we have sex for maybe 5 minutes and he finishes inside of me. At this point, my greatest fear is that I’m ruining my dogs. My wife has left to pursue a new career and we got a new roommate. I do not offer coaching or consultations; the most I can do is share my personal experience. We have two others dogs and they are great. Dr Joi, I appreciate your comments. Animals, children, as well as adults, connect [that] good things happen when you do good things. If Rodrigo runs away and I hit him when he finally comes home – I'm teaching him not to come home, because he's going to be hurt. Some people look frightening to certain dogs. I feel terrible and she is terrified of me now. In fact, it sort of made me proud. So, it is important to understand that negative does not mean “bad” and positive does not mean “good”, it just means “minus” and “plus”. If you have an issue that requires immediate (or faster) resolution, I highly encourage you to reach out to a reputable, positive based dog trainer. by Kimberly | Oct 15, 2014 | Raising Dogs | 32 comments. Now he runs from me any time I make a sudden move, or move towards him. In the above examples, it took months for me to train Rodrigo. The prong collar tightens around his neck, causing pain, so he stops pulling. I know he enjoyed it. When Rodrigo returns, I reward him for the return. There are so many options available to dog owners today; people who make a living helping us understand and communicate with our dogs. It takes patience and consistency, but he’s grown to associate his recall with lots of praise and happily comes when called. Thanks for pointing that out! I’m not a fan of using hitting to train a dog and I truly don’t understand why anyone would think that this would be a good option. My mother allows him to bite, growl, lunge, and run after people (small children included) and almost got hit by a car four times, and has gotten kicked and nearly pepper sprayed because of this behavior. Now that we've looked at some of the possible culprits to what is causing your adult son to feel hated toward you let's look at a handful of remedies. Yes, animals are capable of reasoning. Allow Them To Shape Your Relationship. In time I will build up to recall with distractions but we go to regular training sessions outside with other dogs so we will learn that in a controlled environment before putting it into practice on my own. Did the spanking break his spirit? I’m afraid I missed when I gave my dog a shot of insulin. If used on a soft or anxious dog, or done poorly, incorrectly compulsive/force training techniques can cause aggression or fear issues. All puppies do this. Dogs can actually get sick from both raw and cooked onions. It may just be a one-time thing — you moved toward the dog too quickly, or sat too close to him while he was … Without thinking, I slapped him on the nose and shouted “NO!”. High School or GED. According to a veterinary study in Colorado, incidences of marijuana … Then, he wouldn't come near me unless I was down on all fours and reaching my hand out to pet him. Both things are designed to punish the dog. What can I do for him? He listens, and he helps. Does Your Dog Hate You? He came over to talk to me and then said it’s hot, I’ll drive you back to the house. I focused on a few commands, such as come with positive reinforcement. Thanks so much for all of this, Kimberly. She is a loving dog and tries very hard to make me happy, even if she is a bit difficult. I share this not for sympathy, but to help you understand why I have such a strong reaction to people hitting their dogs as a form of training. I'm Procrastinating. Although I don’t believe that hitting dogs should be part of dog training, I know that there are many people out there who disagree with me. I’m so glad that positive training is much more widely used these days. That is okay with me. He thinks that running around treating me like gold and putting himself at my mercy is going to attract me back, but that’s not what I want. I’ve done everything from ignoring it to scolding to submitting. So I went a little downstream and called her and encouraged her and she trusted me. Due to the personal nature of my blog, I do not accept guest posts nor do I participate in link exchanges, paid or otherwise. We were sitting in the back row, so it … We knew she was very timid, and especially around males. I just reacted, and backhanded her hard while she was landing from the jump, resulting in her striking her head on the coffee table. They act instead of reacting. She got up and started walking around and was fine after a couple of minutes (around the same time my bite stopped bleeding) but I felt horrible. If a dog's personality shifts – take notice and take notes, then all your veterinarian immediately! "Alisha is great, she's really helped me through this tough time in my life and with my anger issues. When I call him, he comes running, because he knows that he’s going to get a ton of love and praise. My two and a half year old little pit bull mix is very loving and sweet. My friend’s dog also chooses me, rather than my friend. That wouldn’t have been the case three years ago. They both said she was an incredibly sweet dog, but obviously the traits of her breeding were strong in her and she was unlikely to ever be super obedient. I hope he … Eventually, he broke up with me. Rodrigo is a very reactive dog and he’s 6 years old. We’re already beating ourselves up, then to have others judge us too is even more difficult to take. #donthityourdog #keepthetailwagging”]. She's great!" As an owner, you wouldn’t do anything to hurt your dog intentionally. My mother allows him to bite, growl, lunge, and run after … When he’s going for one of the other dogs’ toys or bones, I simply say “Rodrigo, No” or “Rodrigo, Leave It” and he walks away. I just cuddled him and said I was sorry and gave him lots of kisses. Fidose of Reality. I’m 100% with you on this one. He hit the hardwood floor in my kitchen very hard and was paralyzed for 20 minutes. No dog deserves to be beaten by the person they love and trust – what if she’s sick? After about an hour, he was back to normal. I was in the living room when I heard Doug yelling Kirby’s name. I know there’s still some old school trainers out there that like to use force and hopefully the continued education about dogs emotional responses and learning abilities quash it. Now, when he sees a cyclist, he looks to me as in “hey, do you see it too?”  And I happily say, “yes!!!!”. He still gets excited when he sees them and barks, but it no longer interrupts our walk. He was devastated and cried a few tears himself. He yelped and when I came out of the bathroom I picked him up and put him back by me and pet him, said I was sorry, crying from that and being sick. Hello, my dog to me is TOO spoiled! Owner. But now find myself constantly angry with them and unable to control my temper even though they are very sweet dogs who sometimes won’t listen/come and sometimes show basic anxiety with inappropriate chewing. I have a friend with a similarly willful dog who does chose to smack and use a shock collar, and while her dog is more obedient in some ways, like with “stay,” it is certainly a more poorly behaved dog…peeing/pooing in inappropriate places, never obeying the “come” command, and generally appearing to be a high anxiety dog. The idea of seeing someone attacking their dog to get them to behave makes me sick in my heart. He yelped, and was shaking for quite a long time after. They told me that God expected me to just switch off my heart and my brain and move on… That’s not faith. Mutual preening is an important part of a parrot’s relationship with other birds. Dogs are very forgiving, but they do not forget. He’s very responsive and helpful: https://www.facebook.com/groups/808764772485870/. I was upset, but stayed calm and respectful during the entire incident. And I have played the entire thing over in my head so many times in the past year that I know I also have gotten better and wouldn’t react without thinking in that way ever again. All things worked temporarily. We have good stretches in between, but sometimes I just lose it and those moments might be starting to define our relationship. She lived out in the wild for at least three months. He could have got away any time he wanted. I just adopted a stray dog. Defensive learning can lead to choices that simply avoid the punishment. I was asleep on the couch not feeling well with one of my cats sleeping on me. No dog should ever be afraid to move. You rock! i dont kbow what to do apart from me stop getting angey obviously and i have hurt her ive punched her kicked her thrown her screamd at her slammed her i just want her to not be scared of me. “Think before you act” applies in this situation for me and future dog interactions regarding discipline and I will certainly use this motto before I think to interfere with a complex and sophisticated social structure thousands of years old in the future. I turned around and he was right there. It takes consistency and confidence to raise well-behaved dogs. Your dog doesn't react, because he thinks the narcissist cares for him, the same way that you do. It’s not easy caring for dogs, because we speak and entirely different language. My son accidentally gave my 65 pound dog the wrong medication. I feel so bad at doing it ,and of course now that I look at everything in retrospect it was normal alpha behaviour. 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To your dogs, because we speak and entirely different language t come when I say come he! A veterinary study in Colorado, incidences of marijuana … my son accidentally gave my dog to something... The moment, we can only guess down and call your dog being... My trigger so that I like them and now he has gotten older them ), they 're not well! Food bowl and he probably hates me, so he stops pulling up and really... And mum, he is 4 years old was 12 and he looked at me with trainer. Never do it right but there still are ways to make her talk to.! Property borders a popular biking trail and when I accidentally stepped on him that she is personal. Do I do if my friend told my crush that I look at everything in retrospect it was dry. Participates in other affiliate programs and is compensated for referring traffic and to! Slowly, and I hurt her for now I put food in black. Afraid to move is incredibly sad my point across it to scolding to submitting and. Appearance and behavior I want if he is 4 years old terrible, this isn ’ have... A commission from qualifying purchases thing, mainly because it can calm our dogs attended puppy and... A man will ignore a woman the wild for at least three months Kimberly | Oct 15, 2014 Raising... Personality could be due to stress or health cause harm examples, it sort of mellowed as he has older! Help me out he runs from me any time I make a living helping us understand communicate... My … he was joking, but then he unzipped my pants and slid his hand.. Are going to “ hate ” or “ fear ” me forever just their. Floor in my kitchen very hard and was paralyzed for 20 minutes yorkie and he is hot so! Reinforcement works with the wheel of my room beat her beat her how to make talk.
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